What Happens to Parents When Kids Leave? (2024)

Fruits Basket. You heard me right. Fruits Basket, one of my favorite anime. The anime that told me, “Things we are oblivious to as children have a way of becoming painfully clear as we get older.” Think about it. Who cared for you when you were sick, lifted your spirits when you were sad, and made you who you are? Your parents. Yet, we are completely oblivious to the pain and suffering they feel when we move on with our own lives.

Hello everyone! my name is Churnika Gudla, and today I am here to talk about my biggest concern for the future: what will befall the many parents out there if their children just leave them behind? This question is something most of us think about, but no one has the guts to talk about. Well now, it’s past time.

We need to acknowledge that our inattention can lead to irreversible consequences, like loneliness, depression, and even death. According to “Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions,” by CDC, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “more than one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely, and nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated,” (2). Though it may not seem serious, loneliness and depression can cause a 50% increase in dementia, a 29% increase in heart disease, and a 68% rise in hospitalizations. When children stop calling and visiting, it only aggravates. Which can lead to the third risk… death. According to “Suicide and Older Adults: What You Should Know” by the National Council on Aging (NCOA), “While older adults comprise just 16.8% of the population, they make up approximately 22% of suicides. In 2022, among the nearly 49,449 suicides that took place in the U.S., 10,433 were attributed to people age 65 and up,” (2).

But most people don’t believe in the cold, hard numbers. So, let me tell you the story of my great grandmother, a story told to me by my mother. My great grandmother had five daughters. When she was bedridden during her old age, not a single one of her children took care of her. Why? Because they were so occupied with their own lives. As a child, my mom used to feel so helpless and guilty because she couldn’t do anything about it. The very last time my mom visited her, my great grandmother said, “This is my curse. Never do this to your parents. It is your basic responsibility to take care of your parents no matter how far you go.” This is what my mom taught me, and I want to share it with you all today.

As stated in “The risks of social isolation,” by the American Physiological Association, “a Pew Research Center survey of more than 6,000 U.S. adults linked frequent loneliness to dissatisfaction with one’s family, social and community life,” (13). Thus, as children, relatives, and community members to all those suffering parents, we need to take action to fix this growing issue in three ways.

• One: Technology. There are thousands of new ways to talk with your parents in the 21st century. People are no longer limited by geographic distance. So, why stop yourself at messages and phone calls? Try video chatting, through Facetime, through Zoom, through Skype. It doesn’t matter how long, as long as it’s meaningful.

• Two: Physical Presence. Technology can only make people happy temporarily. If you visit them in person, your parents will be even more excited to spend time with you. You can cook together, play a game, and go out for shopping. So, for those living nearby, you should try to visit at least once a week. For those living farther away, you should visit at least once a year.

• Three: Make time. Here, I want to stop and talk about what I do for my parents. Despite my hectic high school schedule, I always make time to talk with my mom, eat with my dad, and watch a movie as a family. Because it shows them how important they are to me. I know, nowadays, everyone has a busy schedule, but regardless of that, you must make time for your parents because they are what truly matter.

However, despite this, there are many opposers out there who say that nursing homes are another solution for this. But, as stated in “Benefits of Assisted Living: 4 Ways to Keep Seniors Happy in Nursing Homes,” by Nursing Home Abuse Center, “Not every senior will enjoy living in a nursing home,” (1). That’s why according to the Nursing Home Abuse Center, it is still important to “regularly visit your loved one and monitor their health,” even in a nursing home.